There's a common assumption that being kinky must trace back to some past wound, that BDSM interest is a symptom rather than a straightforward preference. It's one of those beliefs that gets repeated often enough to feel like established fact, even though it's rarely tested against actual evidence. This post looks closely at what research comparing BDSM practitioners to the general population has found on trauma history, personality, attachment, and psychological wellbeing, and includes an honest, tentative reflection from inside the field of psychology on why even destigmatising research still tends to search for an explanation before it lets a preference simply exist. If you've ever quietly wondered the same thing about yourself, this is written with you in mind.

People often only know me as "the counsellor," but that's only ever been half the picture. I trained in occupational psychology first, then counselling, and later coaching, because I kept meeting people, and moments, where one tool alone wasn't quite the right fit. Here's why I trained in both, and how counselling and coaching actually work together across my workplace and identity-focused practice.

This year has felt heavier than most, and if you're trans, or close to someone who is, you've likely felt it too. Ahead of London Trans Pride, some reflections on why difficult periods can land the way they do, what resilience research actually suggests helps, and why showing up, together, might matter more than it first appears to.

Wondering what actually happens in a free intro session before you commit to counselling? Here's exactly what to expect, step by step, and what we'll actually talk about.