Blogs
Jealousy and Compersion
Jealousy tends to get all the attention in conversations about non-monogamy, while its counterpart, compersion, the joy felt at a partner's joy, gets far less airtime. This post looks at what research suggests about how the two relate, alongside a warm, personal reflection on gratitude, appreciation, and one way, among many, of holding jealousy and compersion within a polyamorous life.
What Actually Builds Psychological Safety at Work
Psychological safety gets talked about constantly in workplaces, often as a value stated rather than something actually built. Drawing on both organisational research and my own experience of what it feels like when it's absent, when honesty gets shared further than intended, or gets quietly dismissed, this post looks at what genuinely seems to build psychological safety within a team, and what it costs when it isn't there.
Does Being Kinky Mean Something Happened to Me?
There's a common assumption that being kinky must trace back to some past wound, that BDSM interest is a symptom rather than a straightforward preference. It's one of those beliefs that gets repeated often enough to feel like established fact, even though it's rarely tested against actual evidence. This post looks closely at what research comparing BDSM practitioners to the general population has found on trauma history, personality, attachment, and psychological wellbeing, and includes an honest, tentative reflection from inside the field of psychology on why even destigmatising research still tends to search for an explanation before it lets a preference simply exist. If you've ever quietly wondered the same thing about yourself, this is written with you in mind.
Two Tools, One Practice: Counselling and Coaching
People often only know me as "the counsellor," but that's only ever been half the picture. I trained in occupational psychology first, then counselling, and later coaching, because I kept meeting people, and moments, where one tool alone wasn't quite the right fit. Here's why I trained in both, and how counselling and coaching actually work together across my workplace and identity-focused practice.
Holding On and Showing Up: Resilience Ahead of Pride
This year has felt heavier than most, and if you're trans, or close to someone who is, you've likely felt it too. Ahead of London Trans Pride, some reflections on why difficult periods can land the way they do, what resilience research actually suggests helps, and why showing up, together, might matter more than it first appears to.
What Actually Happens in a Free Intro Session
Wondering what actually happens in a free intro session before you commit to counselling? Here's exactly what to expect, step by step, and what we'll actually talk about.
Reading the Cards Without Reading the Future: Oracle Cards for Self-Reflection
Oracle cards aren't about predicting anything. I use them as a genuine psychological tool, a projective prompt that helps whatever I already know, but haven't said out loud yet, find its way to the surface.
Building My Connections: Reflections on Polyamorous Relationships
Living in polyamorous relationships has taught me that communication is the heartbeat of connection. Some days, coordinating needs, schedules, and emotions across multiple partners can feel like trying to predict the weather. In this post, I share five personal reflections on navigating these "relationship climates"—from communicating without fear, to embracing quiet moments, to balancing needs. These are my experiences; everyone’s journey will be different, but noticing the shifts and being gentle with ourselves can make the storms easier to navigate.
The Garden Behind the Wall: Celebrating My Kinky Authenticity
For years, I treated my kink like a secret, living in two worlds: the professional daylight and the private sanctuary of my desires. Over time, I’ve learned that my kink is not something to hide or fix, it is my Sanctuary Garden, the place where I feel fully seen, safe, and alive. This is my reflection on stepping into that space, tending to what matters, and celebrating all parts of myself, even those the outside world may not yet understand.
Coming Home to Myself: What I've Learned About Transition
Transition is rarely a straight line. For me, it has felt like rebooting my whole sense of self, learning to exist fully in a body and identity that finally feel authentic. Some days are slow, some days feel like breakthroughs, but every glitch, pause, or recalibration has revealed parts of myself I never knew were waiting. This blog is a personal reflection on navigating that journey and finding the rhythm of living as my true self.
Managing My Resources: Work Stress, Investment, and Leaving It at the Door
Some counsellors also have another job. I work in an office role within education, and for a long time I didn’t realise how much of myself I was leaving there at the end of each day. I wasn’t lazy or disengaged. I cared, and because I cared, I kept investing more time, energy, and attention than I actually had available.
This reflection explores how I began thinking about stress in terms of resources, learning when effort is helpful and when it quietly drains me, and why leaving work at work has been one of the most important changes I’ve made for my wellbeing and my relationships.
A note on these posts
I use AI assistance for research, structure, and drafting, but every post is reviewed and approved by me, and the reflections and clinical perspective are genuinely mine.

